Things You Definitely Don't Need During the Holidays (Especially in a Cold Winter Climate)

1. Mail service.

2. Garbage service.

3. Access to your garage.

4. Access to your driveway.

It's not like anyone needs to send or receive letters and packages during the holidays—and, anyway, it's superfun to go stand in a line at the post office for an hour just to collect your bills because your mailbox is lying on your front porch. And very few people who celebrate Christmas need to come and go a lot, often with several parcels or big grocery shops, at this time of year. Plus, it's also superfun to clear snow and frost off your car. I hope my driveway looks like this FOREVER.